Kids are so challenging and can have serious effects on the stress levels at home! Past experiences and knowledge has taught me that outburst, yelling and any physical punishments are nothing more than an adult tantrum. Your tantrums are not teaching your kids to behave correctly; you are showing them that you are not in control. Even though I had that knowledge, the fighting and relentless resistance to my requests got really overwhelming. The noise that comes from fighting is so extremely nerve-racking to me!!! Over the last year the stress and frustration in our home reached beyond extreme. Crying, yelling and tantrums were not just something my kids did. All of my many hours reading parenting books and parental education seemed to have spun down the drain. Then I came up with the “20 Sticker” idea. The main focus is that you as the parent are rewarding ANY positive behavior or success. You WANT your kids to do something good so you can reward them. Catch them being good, and reward that behavior.
20 Stickers : Catch ‘em being good!
Reward good behavior with a sticker. Once 20 stickers are on your chart, the child get a reward of their choice. Giving stickers should be completely random at the parents discretion.
Good Behavior could be helping siblings w/o being asked, putting on shoes with out being asked, NOT complaining when asked to do homework, a sweet smile or hug, positive behavior or expressions, , doing anything nice or helpful. REWARD IT!
In the beginning give out lots of stickers for all the good behavior you see. Then after the first reward is given, then you can limit it a little more. They will point out their good behavior, and I just say “I get to catch you being good, but that was NICE!!!” Sometimes I will give a sticker for something I ask to be done; “Help your brother get his shoes on, please.” If it is done with out complaining, the sticker is rewarded.
Reward: Let YOUR CHILD choose the reward, you can help and make suggestions. It should be their choice, within reason. Begin making normal family activities a reward, don’t just give it freely, use it as a reward.
Reward Ideas: Trip to the dollar store for a $5 shopping spree, dinner out with mom, go to the movie of your choice with popcorn, sleep over at grandparents, anything fun that they come up with. (No trips to Disney, unless you want to make that something they can work for with 20 charts….AND you already plan on going! )
Our sticker chart put where everyone can see, BUT the kids can't put their own stickers on. The stickers I use are also in a secret place so I am the only one to access them.
Enjoy!
This is a great idea! One of Ben's teachers did it and she called them their "caught-ya" stickers. I didn't think about doing it at home though. Love it!
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